33/48
Pretend everything’s fine
Narrative
An American couple takes their 10-year-old daughter to her grandfather’s hotel in Italy to tell him they’re getting separated. Hoping to reunite them, she asks to celebrate one last Christmas together, even though it’s August. Lawrance Armanetti: And you two are going to suck it up and act like you’re having fun and just do what everyone else in the world does. I’m going to write the first and maybe last part of this terrible movie.
Who was it aimed at?
It has characters cheating on each other and a girl who wants to spend Christmas in the Dolomites in August. What could possibly go wrong? The “local” setting, the kids look American. The hotel is owned by DeVito and staffed (from what we can tell) by an Irishman.
It’s weird and stupid
And yet it looks like a 4-star hotel. Huge!! Huge rooms and only a guy and a dwarf looking after them? How did they put together a cast like that for a shocking movie?
It has no charm
None. I can handle B-grade Christmas movies with a local who comes back helping out at the bakery and falling in love with his high school sweetheart who stayed there forever… plenty of those have enough charm to at least be better than this. Don’t get Hollywood or its stars because all they agreed to in the contract should be to have one take, all expenses paid (first class of course) and enough pay to buy the actual hotel they use for location.
And don’t get me started on Kelsey Grammars’ shitty Christmas movie
There’s a lot to love about Hulu’s streaming offerings this month – get excited for new series premieres and favorite movies to watch at home.